Public Bathroom Issues You Won't Belive!!

We went on a trip the other day, and as usual, I didn't' have to go to the bathroom at the fair. So, I sat there with my baby in her stroller, and waited for a few minutes for my wife and the baby to clean up.

Well, we walk to the car and start driving to town. In no less than 5 minutes, Daddy had to go #2 so bad that I didn't' know what to do! Now, I felt like the idiot.

Well, we finally come up to a public restaurant, and I immediately walk in and trying to find the bathroom. I see it, and frantically run/walk to the men's room. I get in there...and sit down on the toilet..I start pushing...hmmmmm..moaning..I'm fine in about 5 minutes...I look to my left and see that there is full roll of toilet paper..because the other one was finished. I reached over and tried to pull off some tissue, but I could NOT get the stupid new roll to turn!!! I was so friggen pissed! Here I am, trying to wipe myself, with my wife/baby waiting for me and I couldn't! What am I supposed to do, pull the stupid 'help rope?????' ..I tried like heck , to scratch and claw just 1 piece of toilet paper off and NO luck!

Well, unfortunately, they had no paper towels as well, since most places use the 'free hot hair' to dry your hands..so this guy was out of luck! What an embarrassment! I tried to flush the toilet a 2nd time..and something happend to the handle and it wouldn't work...so I was just double out of luck! I am going to leave my you know what sitting there for the next person, I couldn't even wipe myself and shit out of luck! I pull up my pants, try to walk normally out of the restaurant and told my wife what happend. She laughed sooo hard!!!

Now that I have stains...I'm dying now! I need to find another place to clean up. Well, my wife didnt wanna go home yet, which would've been my choice to 'clean up'...she wanted to go to a store on the other side of the river, to do some shopping. So, being the good dad I am and husband, we drove 1/2 or longer, trying to find this store. Well, we found parking..and then I was frantically trying to find another public restroom. We found a Barnes/Noble. thank God, I said to myself??!!!

So, we walk in, and what do you know, the darn bathroom is at the very end of the bookstore.. I walk and walk..and can now barely see their sign "Bathrooms" ...as we walk 1/2 way through the store. Finally, my wife waits for me, starts snickering at me, and I walk into the men's room all happy ...thinking, I'm going to finally clean up..I walk in, and the 1st stall had a mess in it..some guy left one for me...so, i left that stall, and unfortunately, another man was using the so called handicap stall...I walked back out, called my wife over to tell her i have to wait..and can't believe this!!! Finally after a few more minutes, I walk in...to the 1st stall again..and try tol flush this piece of crap down, so i can clean up..You know what? The dam piece of crap was so friggen big, that it would NOT fit down the pipe! How embarrassing is that? I just shook my head and laughed and thought how sick that was. I then bent down, to see if that other guy left the handicap stall. Yes, he did..and finally my story ends. After at least 1 hour later, i was finally able to clean myself up in a normal handicap stall...plenty of tissue, no broken toilet handles...no problem..thank God!

In all my life, I have never encountered this many bathroom issues ever..and I hope not again!

Dad